For online students the challenge of balancing family responsibilities with college is a major source of stress. You already had a full life and adding class assignments to it means something’s gotta give.

 

We all want lives that run like a well-oiled clock. However, it is exactly this unrealistic expectation that often makes us feel overwhelmed, and like we are always falling short. You have a lot on your plate with kids needing help with homework and dinner to be made and consumed. Don’t forget cleaning up and getting everyone organized for the next day with matching socks, lunch money, and transportation arrangements. It is a lofty hope that children will make it to bed not only with clean teeth, but a sense of home and well-being deep in their hearts.

 

Now that everyone else is attended to, fed, cleaned, and tucked in, you are exhausted. But it’s time to get to work on your school assignments! Not a pretty picture. Take heart, there are things you can do to make it all run, maybe more like a trusty toaster than a well-oiled clock!

 

Here are some ideas to start:

 

- Enlist your family to help. Everyone can pitch in and assist in some way.

 

- Assign age-appropriate jobs. Older children can make simple meals and no one ever died from eating ramen noodles with a banana on the side.

 

- Give children more responsibility. They will feel good about helping and increase their independence, learn teamwork, and even gain crisis management skills.

 

- Don’t micromanage. The bathroom might not be as clean as when you do it, but it’s better than it was.

 

- Have a plan. Do what works best for your family, whether you create a schedule or have a time when family members are “on-call”.

 

- Prioritize tasks. You may have to make some choices about which things get done and in what order.

 

- Downsize tasks into immediately needed pieces. If the laundry is piling up but you have an assignment due, then it may be time create a smaller goal of just clean socks and underwear for tomorrow.

 

- Be in the moment. It’s not what you do with your family, or how much time you spend doing it. What counts is that you are truly present with them.

 

- Don’t sweat the stuff that didn’t get done or that needs doing, whether it is dirty dishes or a reading assignment.

 

- When you connect with your family they will be in a better place and so will you.

 

As we are all rushing through our days it is easy to feel overwhelmed with all that we must get done. Take a deep breath and let others help you, lower your unrealistic expectations and concentrate on what matters most. As caregivers we tend to have higher expectations about the little things that our family may never notice, but we do transmit our stress to them.

 

Be sure to pick the ramen noodles out of Johnny’s hair before he gets on the bus, but if everyone’s fed, rested, and knows that you love them, all the rest of it will fall into place. And you will have the time and focus to complete that essay before the deadline!

 

- by Kate