In today’s latest installment of our series Heroes of the Job, we’re revisiting The Office, this time focusing on a different employee—Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager Assistant to the Regional Manager.

The paper distribution viagra business moves at a lightning pace. There is no solace for wimps or quitters in the cutthroat world of paper supply. And no one understands this more readily than Dwight, our man of the day.

Dwight Schrute: I have been Michael’s number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We’re like one of those classic famous teams. He’s like Mozart and I’m like … Mozart’s friend. No. I’m like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like … Mozart…

…You try and hurt Mozart, you’re gonna get a bullet in your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy.

The lesson: In the broader business world, you have to get your boss’s back. People always talk about how their boss is a pain in the butt, or how their manager doesn’t know how to manage. In the World According to Dwight, things are different:

Dwight Schrute: Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffle bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?

Dwight Schrute: The Japanese camp guards of World War Two always chose one man to kill whenever a batch of new prisoners arrived. I always wondered how they chose the man who was to die. I think I would have been good at choosing that person.

Question: does that attitude make Dwight Schrute a cutthroat person? Well, technically it makes him the cutthroat-decider person; but there’s not a lot of evidence he’d appreciate the distinction.

Dwight Schrute: In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, Ow, I hurt my leg. I can’t run. A lion eats me. I’m dead. Well, I’m not dead. I’m the lion. You’re dead.

Scary? Yes. But, from a professional perspective, please don’t read too much into this. It’s not as if, in Dwight Schrute’s refined business-salesman mind, the workplace is always the wild savannah. Not always, oh no…

…Sometimes it’s the wild prairie:

Dwight Schrute: Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. Snare it. Then to keep it happy, you have to tame it. Feed it, care for it. Lovingly. The way an animal deserves. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.

Well, Dwight, “good luck with that,” as they say in the business. But perhaps he does have the preternatural strength needed to give his animal and/or Angela the lovin’ she deserves. As the man himself says,

Dwight Schrute: When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered, that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

Are you ready to use Dwight Schrute and the baby he absorbed in the womb as your Business role model? We hope so.