And now for the third installment in our formerly-and-now-once-again regular series, Heroes of the Job. This is meant as a means of looking at some of the notable success stories in our community, and making a careful accounting the triumphs and failures in their work lives. Today we’re taking a look at the fast-paced world of Business, through the eyes and in the words of Michael Scott of The Office. (Other members of The Office will be mentioned, naturally, and may get a turn of their own down the line.)

Michael Scott: Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me—no, don’t sue me. That is opposite of the point I’m trying to make.

Jim Halpert: One day Michael came in, complaining about a speed bump, on the highway… I wonder who he ran over then.

The lesson: involves recklessness, at least on its face. In terms of the Business world, before we can learn any lessons from him, we need to know: how does Michael Scott think? What kind of manager is he? Let’s put aside the possibility of vehicular manslaughter just for a moment and ask, does the man holding that mug really believe himself to be the WORLD’S BEST BOSS?

Michael Scott: Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like this … compulsive need … to be liked. Like my need to be praised.

The lesson: Business is about making hard decisions. It’s not personal. It’s just business… Of course, pointing out the flaws in that maxim has been a main theme of a large and varied amount of shows and movies, from The Godfather to Mr. Mom to Miami Vice to You’ve Got Mail.

Michael Scott: What is the single most important thing for a company? Is it the building? Is it the stock? Is it the turnover? It’s the people. The “people.” My proudest moment here wasn’t when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No, no, no, no. It was a young Guatemalan guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went “Mr. Scott, will you be the Godfather to my child?” Wow. Wow. …Didn’t work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.

The lesson: As the man says, it’s all about the “people.”

Michael Scott: What happens to a company if you take the boss away? I will answer your question with a question. It’s like what happens to a chicken, when you take its head away. It dies. Unless you find a new head. I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be a chicken head.

The lesson: If you need me to point it out, you’ll never have what it takes to be a chicken head.

Michael Scott: I lost [his friend] Ed Truck… and it feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears… and at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch with a frozen sledgehammer… and then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone… and I’m crying, and nobody can hear me, because I’m terribly, terribly… terribly alone.

The lesson: Being an inspiring manager isn’t just about planning funtivities and telling management parables all day long. Maybe in the next life; but in this one, sometimes regular life happens, even at work.

Michael Scott: Forgiveness is next to Godliness.

This is Michael’s ultimate lesson. And, while it has the cheeky accidental grammar of a George Bushism—e.g. They misunderestimated me, or Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream, or, I don’t know, say, I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family—it actually has some (also accidental) philosophical and/or theological heft. Further still, from the mouth of Michael Scott, the line also has a tremendous third dimension … he absolutely means it, and it’s absolutely true, but it’s not quite true in the way he means it.

For future business managers, this lesson is one that’s implicit in many of the best things Michael says: When you have something important to say to your employees, say it so that it can be interpreted in as many ways as possible.

So, now, go forth: explore the many types of Business degrees online, and find out more about your future career in the business world today. The funtivities await!