EarnMyDegree Blog: Okay, thanks so much for joining us, Robin. And for the rest of everybody out there, we should clarify that the Robin with us here today is the Robin of Batman & … fame.

Robin: What … seriously? Like, what other Robin could it be.

EMDB: Thicke.

R: Eww, ah.

EMDB: Well, whether or not you find the comparision flattering, it’s a possiblity.

R: No, it’s not that — there’s something about the name that doesn’t sound right to me, that makes me want to cringe/laugh. Something about how the two words sound together: Robin Thicke. Sparrow Deepe. Swan Wyde.

EMDB: Ha ha. Goose Girthe.

R: Exactly.

EMDB: Mallard Plumpe.

R: Anyway. All that’s about is Thicke’s name gives me an auditory hiccup. Not that any serious confusion between him-Robin and me-Robin would have me complaining. I do love to sing.

EMDB: But you don’t even need a last name. You’re the Robin! You’ve already got a great name, a career, a thing.

R: What, like he’s got it so rough?

R: And Thicke’s the one with the career. God, it’d be neat to be a singer, yeah? Better than how I spend my days.

EMDB: How do you spend your days?

R: Oh, you know, typically I look at myself in the mirror in the morning and jump right into a kind of sneering self loathing. I do that until about lunch. Most of the afternoon is spent overcompensating.

EMDB: That sounds pretty bleak.

R: Holy cow! Why don’t you try devoting your whole life to being a good sidekick, only to get cropped when the movies get actually good again?

EMDB: Again? Oh, right — the 1989 Batman, the one with Jack Nicholson. That one was good.

R: And not featuring me. Basically, even going back to the TV series, if they cast me in it, it ended up being Suckfest.

EMDB: Yeah, boy, I remember seeing the posters for the one with the Bat-nipples and feeling almost bad for you.

R: But you didn’t feel bad for Batman, right?

EMDB: I knew Batman could handle it. He’d bounce back. But you had this look on your face that could be seen behind the mask — you weren’t so sure, and kind of struggled to look … invested. Basically the whole you looked like you wanted to be somewhere else.

R: What did you want me to look like–happy about it? Holy cow, man, it’s not like I couldn’t see the nipples on my suit like everyone else; I knew what was coming. Batman has a long tradition of throwing me under the bus.

EMDB: Really?

R: Crikey. It’s why he keeps bringing me back around, in large part — I’m a sacrificial PR lamb.

EMDB: Like, how do you mean?

R: Batman knows when the heat’s around the corner. Like when he got accused of being rather too touchy-feely for a superhero, he just pointed at me and said, Robin’s the problem, Robin’s too fey, his outfit has too many colors. Then he tosses me aside, cuddles up in his cave with his toys, and waits out the storm.

EMDB: That’s rough.

R: That’s always how it’s been. I’m like the Russian troops that didn’t have any bullets for their guns and had to lead the charge anyway. Cannon fodder.

EMDB: And … so, in this analogy, Batman is Stalin.

R: You said it and I’m not correcting it.

EMDB: And yet you keep coming back, whenever the Batman’s ready to revive your partnership.

R: Mm. Keep in mind that I’m a dude who A) has been doing this a long, long time, and B) wears millions of tiny insecurities beneath his outfit, so my redundant course is charted.

EMDB: But would you say that, overall, you’re displeased with your work partnership with Batman?

R: Partnership? Have you been listening, like, at all?

EMDB: Yes–but I mean are you dissatisfied enough to do something about it.

R: Ha. Do what? If capitulation rhymed with resentment, I could write a really mean blues song, let’s put it that way. I could teach Robin Thicke a thing or three about channeling lifelong freaking frustrations. At least Alfred’s started to let me cook when I’m at the manor waiting on his Batness. I love cooking, and just being busy in the kitchen calms my nerves. Chopping, cleaning, dicing, whatnot.

EMDB: Oh? Have you thought about going to culinary school? It’s really easy to find the best culinary schools in your area.

R: Interesting. Tell me more.