by Kate

Now that you are familiarized with the general workings of the library nearest you, have your library card carefully ensconced in wallet and understand that librarians are critical to your efficient success; let’s talk about some basic guiding principles for behavior at the library that will keep you in good standing.

Quiet! (Sort of) We are all painfully aware of the expectation of silence in these hallowed halls. Frowning, pinch-faced nerds spitting out “SSHHH!”, just when we are starting to have fun. But that is a tragic misrepresentation put out by bad sitcoms. Here’s the real deal.

- Be reasonable, don’t yammer away or guffaw like a burro when others are trying to concentrate. However, if you need to make polite inquiries about where materials are located, that is entirely acceptable.

- It does bear emphasizing that cell phones can shatter the serene stillness and this is an infraction that is likely to earn you massive social disapproval from library officials and patrons. Turn off your ringer before you go in, put it on vibrate if you must. But at all costs; do not engage in cellular conversation until you move away from where you may annoy others. Head out the door or step into a study room.

Food and Drink. Not. You won’t be surprised to find that libraries don’t want you taking snack breaks among the stacks. Understandable, really. Pest control is a priority and spillage on the pages could make a book unreadable for the next guy.

Fines (are a bummer). With all my previous talk of the free nature of this wonderful resource, I should also mention the potential for racking up fines. The library is lending you these fine volumes with the unwritten agreement that if you harm them, lose them or (most commonly) zone out returning them on time; you will be charged a fee.

- Late fees are usually not hefty if not too much time has passed. I confess, I am frequently a slacker at returning books punctually. I like to rationalize that I am making a contribution to a cause that I believe in.

- If you lose track of the book entirely, or ruin it by reading in the bathtub (they won’t take that book back when its swelled like a water-soaked sponge), then you will be charged the cost of replacing the book. Some libraries like to tack on a small fee for their pain and suffering when you’ve abused your privileges. I guess that’s fair.

No firearms, stogies, skateboarding or pets. For some reason, many institutions like to post lengthy lists of regulations, and libraries are no exception. No need to be intimidated by all this rule-making. Mostly it’s sensible stuff that you would not dream of being involved in. Just leave your hamster at home a be prepared to study without bothering other people.

If you want to maintain a good working relationship with your librarian guide (And you do!), be sure to be familiar with the rules of this grand institution. But don’t be put off by unpleasant stereotypes of bitter elderly spinsters that yank away the library welcome mat. The idea is; just be courteous. You are there to work after all, so of course you’ll want the same courtesy extended to you.

By becoming a college student you have clearly demonstrated your willingness to learn, possibly even your eagerness to find new information. The library can be a place of great nourishment for you, and you just may get a thrill from all the amazing things waiting there for you.