MR. BILL:  Oooohh! Welcome back everybody. Awaaaay we go!

EARN MY DEGREE BLOG: Usually I like to introduce the interview, but you’re a man of exceptions, Mr. Bill, so welcome.MRB: I’ve always wanted to host a program! Just thinking about it makes me go, hurray! Wheeee-ee!

EMDB: You’d think the host of a real show would have to be very good at dealing with pressure…

MRB: I love pressure! Especially time pressure! We have to get all these things done, we have to have to, it’s like a fuse has been put into our behinds and lit, and oh boy! Yay!

EMDB: One such job you’ve had throughout the years — one could say, it sounds like, the only job you’ve persistently held — is that of performer.

MRB: Actor.

EMDB: You’ve landed roles on the screen or stage!

MRB: All the time!

EMDB: …As yourself, though. As Mr. Bill. What about landing actual, scripted parts?

MRB: Oh boy, I was one of the finalists for the part of the Joker, yay!! But then it went to the other guy! Christopher Nolan called me up and said oh boy Mr. Bill you’re really great! You have such amazing range, and I went hurraaayy! but then Mr. Chris said not so fast! and then he was mean to me and said you’re perfect, you’re exactly what we want but your eyes are too blue and I said oh nooooo! 

Mr. Bill is always getting shaaaaafted out of the big roles at the last minute

 

EMDB: What other jobs have you tried, in this latter part of your career?

MRB: Mr. Bill was a lifeguard, because of the water, and swimming, and fun … wheeee! But then another life guard had to save me—oh nooooo!!

EMDB: Oh no, indeed. That must’ve been a very sad day. Where’d the road take you next?

MRB: To the city, hurray! The city was fun. Mr. Hand took me there and even gave me my asthma medication so I could say Wheeee! and not die.

MRB: …But then Mr. Hand sent me to be a blacksmith’s apprentice, and oh no! I had all kinds of problems.

EMDB: That must have been really horrible.

MRB: Oh! Oh gee, it was really bad! They kept making me do these things, terrible things that hurt, ow, ow! Oh no!!

EMDB: Have you thought about doing anything else for work — something that won’t hurt you?

MRB: But sooner or later Mr. Hand or Mr. Saw comes along, and then everything hurts! Bad! Oh no!

EMDB: Not everything has to be this way — in fact, not everything has to involve Mr. Hand, even. You can get online, become a student, and graduate with a degree without ever having to go anywhere!

MRB: Oh, boy, that sounds great. Sounds grand. And I could get a job with a college degree?

EMDB: You sure can, one that Mr. Hand doesn’t even have to know about — doesn’t need to know you’re a student at all. There’s lot of things you can do, degrees you can get that let you get a less hurty job that pays more.

MRB: Ohhhh-kay! Let’s go to culinary school and make pizza!! We’re gonna do it and we’re gonna go … Oh noooooo!!