For a second time, we’re drawing on the gold mine that is Gone & Forgotten (seriously, there’s so much there; it’s an epic collection of comic book recounts and interpretations). In terms of career path, longevity, benefits, etc, today’s pairing draws from two very different skill sets and overal ambitions:

Skateman v Prez

Skateman is a roller derby racer whom tragedy strikes, twice, and so he puts on his short shorts and kneepads and laces up his skates in the name of Justice.

Prez is a high school kid who goes out to fix all the clocks in the town of Steadfast and gets elected president of the United States. Just as their stories are different, they have very different agendas. But they also share a few striking similarities, such as A) both the Prez and Skateman comic books failed immediately, B) more masculine characters refuse to take them seriously, and C) they each have an ethnic minority sidekick, and the most superficial stereotypes are given relentless play.

Without digging into the biographies — Gone & Forgotten does a fabulous and funny job of that, so here’s the Skateman entry and here’s Prez — let’s get straight to the sub-questions that are most significant in helping you make your choice.

1. The name of your signature move – what’s worse:

My Wheels Your Face or Seal the Deal

Skate Free Die Hard or Fix the Clocks

Tell Paco to Do It or Tell Eagle Free to Do It

2. Things you say when you’re trying to sound cool – what’s worse:

“Maybe I’ll roll by L8r” or “Let’s take a ride on the FreeBee” [Airforce One’s new name]

“L8r Sk8r — and, by Sk8r, I mean Myself” or “Cool it, man! You had your chance!”

“These kneepads are coming in handy” or “I make the decisions around here — I’m the Decider”

Skateman or Prez? What’s worse.